The morning began with great anticipation. I was all set to make the eighth leg of my walk along the Camino de Santiago, beginning in the little town of A Fonsagrada and ending in the even smaller town of O Cádavo after a fifteen-mile walk through the mountains. The previous seven days of walking during this silent retreat had offered many consolations to me. Though my legs were certainly weary, my spirit was motivated. I had always dreamed of traveling to Spain to engage in this 1,200-year-old pilgrimage, and here I was actually doing it! Though there are a number of paths on the Camino, I intentionally chose my route for time purposes, but also because it was the original pilgrimage way. Engaging in this journey gave me so many gifts, and I wish I had more space to share them all! As one is prone to do on very long walks, I had plenty of time to engage with the presence of Jesus, to ponder my life’s journey up to this point, to pray about many things and many beloved people, and to simply thank God for his goodness to me. As the steps piled up, there were unexpected things that arose too. 

About an hour into my walk on that particular day, I had an experience that surprised me. Looking back, I suppose I romanticized the experience in my preparation for the journey. I anticipated seeing beautiful country, touching the ground where amazing people had walked before me, eating great food, and having plenty of time to sing and pray along the journey. What I did not anticipate encountering on that rocky trail, however, was an old nemesis I thought I had slayed many years before. 

The fear of being alone has been something I have wrestled with throughout my life. When I decided to go back to school to become a therapist many years ago, this fear was one of the central areas of my story that I had to work through. I did the work, saw the counselors, and prayed the prayers. Yet here I was being confronted and overwhelmed by this familiar foe along a serene, picturesque trail a world away from home! Interestingly, and almost comically, the pathway before me set a perfect stage as I confronted this old rival. What had started out as a bright and sunny day with blue skies grew darker and more ominous as I stared into the tunnel of trees ahead of me.

Tears came quickly, and I noticed my breathing getting faster, and I even started to feel a bit faint as I came to terms with what was visiting me. I leaned against the old stone wall for a few moments before entering the tunnel of trees. It grew cooler and darker as I tried to gather myself. I felt afraid. I felt alone. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I stayed with the emotion. As I walked on, it started to feel like the trees were getting lower and compressing me down into the soil. I remember feeling at some points like I was going to have to bend down and even crawl just to get out.

Thankfully, at that point I had one of the most real experiences of the presence of Jesus I have ever had in my entire life. When I felt like I was about to be crushed by the fear of being alone, it was as if Jesus showed up next to me. I couldn’t make out any figure, and there was no audible voice, but a peace that words cannot convey graciously washed over me. Tears of fear quickly turned into tears of joy and gratitude. My posture, which had slowly become bent over in fear and worry, transformed quickly into walking tall, and I noticed I was taking big, deep, recovery breaths. I was, in fact, not alone. Jesus was with me more closely than I had ever experienced. He showed up for me and reminded me that I could trust him in a new and fresh way, even after all these years of walking with him in relationship. He is faithful! 

As I reflect on this experience, I am so grateful for the decisions that were made by leaders within Global Missions in years past. I was only able to engage in this once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage because I was on missionary sabbatical. My family and I were grateful to have qualified to take a three-month sabbatical with the support of Global Missions and the incredible generosity of a donor. How do you say thanks and express gratitude for a gift like this? Every Nazarene missionary can receive a three-month, paid sabbatical, following successful application and approvals, after they have completed seven years of consecutive service. 

Amy and I began our role in helping coordinate missionary care back in August of 2021, having served in a prior capacity in the Asia-Pacific region. When we sat down with the Global Missions director back in those very early days of serving in this role, we asked him where he would like us to prioritize our efforts as we looked at a missionary team of more than five hundred colleagues. Without hesitation he said, “I’d like you to help us get our missionary sabbatical program going. Our missionaries have been through COVID-19, and they are tired. We all need to learn to rest.”

Those words set us on a journey to explore and research and learn about best practices for sabbaticals. Having never taken a sabbatical at that point, we had much to learn. As I think back to that conversation, I cannot help but be filled with gratitude for the genuine care and intentionality that were given to us and for our colleagues with that important directive. Only a few weeks later, we learned that funding had been secured for this incredible new initiative! 

The purpose of sabbatical is critically important. A leave for the purposes of spiritual renewal requires time and a much longer absence from our normal routines. To be clear, the point of sabbatical is not merely a change of work focus. Rather, it is a purposeful ceasing and resting with a planned intention: the goal is to create persons who are spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy. While some sabbatical structures encourage people to write or work on a project, we wanted to be intentional about focusing missionary sabbaticals on rest, renewal, and relationship with Jesus.  

To take a sabbatical involves practicing faith. This is to say that we trust God enough, and people enough, to walk away and leave things in the capable and God-gifted hands of others. Delegation and equipping are necessary skills that all leaders must develop. This is true for pastors, and it is certainly also true for missionaries. Disciples of Jesus are always looking to grow and develop the next group of leaders. Sabbatical invites missionaries to do just this as they prepare to cease the regular routine in order to engage with the Father in a renewed way. As this faith is practiced, everyone is blessed and God is glorified, for it is he who does the work. 

Global Missions has been intentional about helping missionaries reflect on their experiences both during and after their sabbaticals. In order to better integrate their experiences during sabbatical, thoughtfully selected sabbatical coaches are assigned to each missionary for accountability, and to provide opportunity to reflect on what they are experiencing with Jesus during this precious time. As much as possible, we encourage missionaries to avoid any attempt to produce or work. Rather, we encourage and promote a resting of one’s soul and body. Because not everyone rests in the same ways, rest can look different for each of us. The primary goal, from the very beginning, was to give missionaries a real and lasting rest, in order that they could experience the loving arms of the Father in a fresh way. When true rest occurs, when bodies and souls are renewed, when families can revel in special time and experiences together, missionaries and their families return renewed for the continued journey of making Christlike disciples in the nations.    

Joe Hall is Global Coordinator of Missionary Care for Global Missions.